I am experiencing a personal crisis here in Jerusalem today. The Marine Corps Ball is this evening and it is a black-tie event that all Americans at the consulate are expected to attend, no exceptions. About 2 weeks ago, I thought to try on the black-tie gown I purchased for a wedding during my last pregnancy and, as expected, it didn’t even zipper. I quickly ordered three new gowns from three different designers, hoping at least one of them would ship here in time. They did all get here in time, and now are all sitting in an Israeli customs office being “held” for admission into the country. I don’t rarely have an opportunity to say this, but I truly have nothing to wear tonight.
Let me vent quickly–I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before here, but nothing in Israel gets done fast. Going out to dinner here is at least a 2-hour affair, during which you are lucky to see your waiter/waitress three times–to take your order, deliver your order and bring you your check. Should you want to order a second drink, or ask for some more ketchup, you are usually out of luck or end up having to get up yourself and going to find your waitress on foot. When you do that, they kind of laugh at you, and you know they are thinking “impatient American.” But everything here is like that. Renting a car, or checking in for a flight, or checking into a hotel, or stopping for gas, or mailing a package, or ordering coffee, or waiting for a machine at the gym, or waiting in line at the supermarket–these are all events for which you need to allocate additional time when you are doing them in Israel. This country simply seems to lack a sense of urgency. Call me American, but I just don’t understand how a coffee barista can decide to take a cigarette break when there are 10 people standing around waiting for espressos. I appreciate a relaxed attitude when I am on vacation on a tropical island–but I don’t appreciate it every single day in a major city.
So, needless to add, the Israeli DHL workers have very little sympathy for my current plight. My numerous calls to them yesterday and today explaining the situation and begging them to release one of those boxes have been met alternatively with either “soon” or the less definitive ”eh,” an expression that is common here and is usually accompanied by a shrug of the shoulders. It essentially means, there is nothing I can do, it’s not my problem, get over it.
This, by the way, is the fabulous Blossom gown I had hoped to be wearing tonight. Isn’t it gorgeous? If you don’t live in Israel, where a maternity dress completely confounds all of the local customs agents, you can order this gown here in black or bronze for GBP 275. (Blossom is currently offering free international shipping on orders over GBP 200).
And, by the way, it’s not just the Israelis with the “eh.” The Arabs do the same thing, except they shrug their shoulders and say “Insh’allah,” which translates literally into “God willing” and sounds nicer, but really means it’s not my problem, it’s yours, stop harassing me.
So, I am currently in the process of digging deep into my closet trying to find something I can dress up for tonight, which also happens to zipper over the babies.
My best candidate so far is this black Liz Lange cocktail dress, the Christina Silk Charmeuse Dress, which I wore numerous times during my last pregnancy, and which I will even venture to call a maternity standby. I know, that doesn’t sound exciting, but this silk dress works for everything. It’s lined, but the silk fabric is not forgiving. You need to wrap yourself in a nice pair of Spanx and a strapless bra before you wriggle into this number. But once you’ve done that, you can pull it off for a 
nice dinner out, a wedding, or even a holiday cocktail party. The neckline is quite flattering for a newly acquired pregnancy chest, but provides enough coverage that there should be no unfortunate accidents. And there is a sash that ties in back to add definition above your bump. The dress is currently selling in black here on Bellydance Maternity’s website for USD $250. I own it in a Liz Lange size 2 (US size 6-8), which is a bit tight on me right now (OK, it’s really too small), so it seems to run very true to size.
The Christina Silk Charmeuse dress is also currently on sale here on Liz Lange’s website in Turquoise and in Camel for USD $169.
I don’t happen to think this dress is quite dressy enough for a black-tie event, especially the one I am attending tonight at which many of the men in military dress will be carrying swords. (I just feel as if you need to be wearing a gown when there are people carrying swords in attendance). But, unless I am notified of a miracle over at the Israeli DHL office in the next 2 hours, I’ll be wearing this tonight. I’ll try and post photos tomorrow…
So, when I went looking for a dress to wear to a formal event next week, I was really trying to find something different. I ordered several different options to try on, and I was the most surprised by the clear winner–this evergreen ombre ABS Collection Maternity Dress, available at Pea in the Pod. I’ve tended to steer away from ABS by Allen Schwartz in the past, as he specializes in knocking off designer gowns within hours after a celebrity is photographed in them and I can’t help but think that’s tacky. But as I’ve said before, the pregnant fashionista often has to bend her fashion rules because we are working with a limited selection. And this is actually a lovely dress. It’s 100% silk and the material is quite good quality. I was especially pleased that the dress is extremely well-lined, both in the bust area as well as through the bottom of the gown. 
I am not going to need a slip underneath this dress, just a pair of maternity stockings and I’ll be set for the evening. The green ombre fabric is right on trend and the V-neck is flattering and just revealing enough to be tasteful, yet flattering (although, if you are extremely well-endowed, I’d plan to try the gown on before you become too invested). Here is a nice photo of actress Bahar Soomekh in the dress last November.
